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Power of Attorney: Empowering you to help your loved one

Power of Attorney: Empowering you to help your loved one

Follow us, as Elizabeth Murray tells the moving story of her mother’s battle with dementia. In this blog series, Murray explores every part of the experience of caring for someone with dementia, sharing her memories and insights from it all. Her words serve as a great reminder of the many ways dementia affects our lives, and the lives of our loved ones.

Moving my mother into a nursing home was a difficult decision. Executing that decision was even more difficult.

My mother had always been fiercely independent. Even after my father died and she lived alone, she was determined to do everything for herself.

My mother knew that if she were to become mentally incapable, someone else would have to make decisions about her health care, medical treatment and living arrangements. We had discussed the benefits of a Power of Attorney for Personal Care and she acknowledged that I was the person she would want to have make those decisions if she couldn’t do so herself. The problem was that she really believed she would always be able to determine her own destiny; that she would always be able to live alone and take care of herself.

Although my husband and I were both lawyers and we knew the consequences of our inaction, neither of us were inclined to push the issue and persuade her to sign the document.

When my mother was diagnosed with dementia, she wasn’t prepared to admit that she needed assistance of any kind and she certainly wasn’t prepared to move out of her house voluntarily.

When my mother was no longer safe living on her own, I didn’t have the authority to move her into a nursing home or to ensure that she received appropriate care. Before I could make any decisions on my mother’s behalf, I had to apply to court and ask to be appointed as her committee. The process was cumbersome and time-consuming. It added to the stress of an already stressful situation.

Contemplating a time when a Power of Attorney for Personal Health Care is required is not easy, but the decision is an important one to make. Don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s better to have a plan and not need it than to need a plan and not have it.

What is a Power of Attorney?

A Power of Attorney is a legal document that gives someone else the power to act on your behalf. This person is called your “attorney,” though he or she is not usually a lawyer. Powers of Attorney for Personal Care deal with the following matters:

• The appointment of an attorney and the appointment of an alternate attorney if the first named attorney is unable or unwilling to make a decision or is not readily available to make a decision;
• The types of decisions an attorney is authorized to make regarding your care;
• Medical directives with respect to treatment;
• Provisions for payment of compensation to the attorney for the decision-making; and
• Provisions to protect the attorney from decisions that might be unpopular with some members of a family.

Depending on where in Canada you live, a Power of Attorney for Personal Care may be called a power of attorney, a personal or health directive, or a representation agreement. Sometimes, the same document can deal with personal care issues as well as financial matters. A committee may also be called a guardian.

At the Alzheimer Society of Ontario, you can find many resources to help you prepare for the future at www.alzsuperhero.ca

 

Written by:

Writer Elizabeth Murray
Elizabeth Murray
Retired lawyer and the author of Holding on to Mamie:  My Mother, Dementia and Me.
For more information about Elizabeth and her story visit www.holdingontomamie.ca.

Celebrating Mother’s Day when Mom has dementia

Celebrating Mother’s Day when Mom has dementia

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, the crunch is on to find that perfect gift to show your mom just how much she means to you. But what if your mom has dementia? Here are a few simple, engaging ways to show your mom how much you care—on Mother’s Day or any other day of the year.

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Their memories fade, but love remains

Their memories fade, but love remains

Donate today to help find a cure.

When the doctor first told my Mom, “You have Alzheimer’s disease,” I was numb. There I was, only 30 years old, with a newborn son and a mother whose memory was starting to fade.  I tried to Google as much as I could about the disease, but panic came the second I saw the words: There is no cure.

As hard as this is to talk about, I agreed to share my story with you because I want to see a world without Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.

Caron & Marlene

Please make a donation today. Your holiday gift to Alzheimer Society of Ontario will help fund life-saving research focused on prevention, better treatments and, ultimately, a cure. Your contribution will also help women and men across the province that face this devastating disease by providing support programs and services.

This time of year is especially hard. I have such fond memories of our family’s special Christmas traditions but that has all changed since Alzheimer’s took hold of Mom 15 years ago.

My Mom is now in the late stages of the disease. She has forgotten how to walk and is confined to a wheelchair. She can’t remember how to chew so even eating is difficult.

Alzheimer’s disease impacts so many people. And chances are you or someone you know will be affected.

I hope you will join me in donating now to help bring hope and improve the lives of people like my mother.

Thank you,

Caron Leid
Caregiver to my mom, Marlene, since 2000