The Holidays are the perfect time of year to bring friends and family together to connect, catch up, and celebrate the coming New Year! For those with dementia it is just as important to be able to spend time with their loved ones. But managing the extra stimulation a gathering can bring and making sure they enjoy themselves can sometimes be difficult. Family and friends may also be uncertain about how to act and what to say. To help with…
As a child, I recall the holidays were about family traditions; the plump orange and the red delicious apple in the Christmas stocking, and if luck would have it a chocolate treat. This delicacy was sparingly consumed, to preserve the experience for as long as possible. There was always a small toy to open, and something wearable, and practical. I recall spending hours, staring at the tree with the tangled jumble of coloured lights, and painted bulbs decorated with idyllic…
Winter is on its way, bringing with it snow, sleigh bells, and a renewed importance around being safe in our homes and communities. To prepare, we’re putting snow tires on our cars, pulling winter boots out of storage, and stocking up on salt for our sidewalks and driveways – but for people with dementia, those safety steps go a bit further. If you’re living with dementia or helping to care for someone with dementia, here are some important factors to…
When the doctor first told my Mom, “You have Alzheimer’s disease,” I was numb. There I was, only 30 years old, with a newborn son and a mother whose memory was starting to fade. I tried to Google as much as I could about the disease, but panic came the second I saw the words: There is no cure. As hard as this is to talk about, I agreed to share my story with you because I want to see…
Reflecting on Communication Tips and Medical Appointments I was raised to be a people pleaser, and I am unapologetic about it, unless I offended you by writing this, to which I would say, “I’m sorry”… And so begins my early saga of treading lightly, and being careful to find ways to keep the peace, by pre empting and reducing opportunities for conflict. Little did I know this skill set would serve me well, as a daughter to a mom living…
My mom was diagnosed with young onset dementia shortly after my son was born in 2005. My daughter had just turned two. It was not a surprise as mom had been showing signs, but it was heartbreaking – she was only 62. Despite the disease, my kids were still able to connect with their Nana in many ways. They shared simple activities like colouring, singing, blowing bubbles or picking flowers. In fact, I found that having young children around really…
Of all my personal experiences with Alzheimer’s disease, the memory of one is especially powerful. Sometimes gifts arrive to us when least expected if we open our hearts to possibilities… I believe mom’s early emotional responses were shaped by her environment and cultural upbringing. Raised during the depression, she often spoke about missed opportunities and leaving school to help support her family. Her stories were not coloured with resentment or pessimism because she accepted with stoic resolve what had to…
Two things, it is said, are constant and unyielding in an unpredictable world: death and taxes. To this short list, I would add washing clothes, ironing, and making supper. You may be snickering about the addition of “ironing” in a world inundated with synthetics and permanent press. However, as mom’s dementia advanced, this became the predictable response every time I asked about her day’s activities. It wasn’t that she was spinning a tale to allay my concerns, but rather she…
My family is no stranger to Alzheimer’s disease. I cannot remember a time in my childhood when elders in my life were not living with dementia. We did not question these losses because this was our “normal.” We now know that evolving memory changes, with subsequent losses, are not a normal outcome of aging. One difficulty with mom’s diagnosis of dementia was that each sibling saw her changes in a different way, and chose to either accept or refute the…
When one is accustomed to continuous chatter, the hollow sound of silence becomes deafening… We were always a family of conversationalists. I think this was a refined way of saying we talked a lot. To become a true part of the inner family circle, it was important to be engaged in more than one conversation at a time, and to change topics with fluidity. I believe the prospect of silence was uncomfortable for us, and we compensated by talking loudly…